Bullet Page 5

Chapter 5

  5

  AN HOUR LATER five of us were walking through the big dungeon door at the bottom of the long stairs leading from the upper parts of Circus of the Damned, where there was a permanent carnival midway and circus ring, plus a freak show that held mostly mythological creatures, to the quiet underground that was the lair of the Master of the City of St. Louis. The first time I'd come through that big, scary door, Jean-Claude had only been one of the master's minions. I'd killed her to save my life and others, but I'd opened the way for Jean-Claude to be the new master. Talk about your unintended consequences.

  We closed and locked the door behind us and were in an open space bordered by huge gauzy curtains that ran from the floor to vanish into the darkness of the ceiling. When I called this the underground I wasn't joking. It had been carved out of existing caverns under the city, and to add a homey touch the curtains were the walls of the living room.

  Jason and J. J. were hand in hand ahead of us as he parted the curtains, hitting the opening out of long habit. If it was new to you, the "door" was nearly impossible to find the first time. They went through laughing, looking at each other in a way I never thought I'd see Jason look at anyone.

  We came behind them, my hand in Nathaniel's and my arm through Micah's. We almost ran into Jason and J. J. just inside the curtains. Something about the way they were standing made me drop the men's hands and go for my gun. Maybe I was overreacting, but a lot of our enemies are faster than human. You don't get a second chance to draw your gun against that kind of speed. I used Jason and J. J. to hide my hands as I tried to see around to what had made them stop, and I could see Jason's tension level go through the roof. I knew rationally that he'd have yelled a warning if it was a gun situation, but a gun was what I had.

  When I could see around them it didn't make sense. Wicked and Truth were standing with our other black-shirted security guards, but they were all standing in the middle of the room with Jean-Claude and Asher on opposite sides of the group. It looked for the entire world as if the guards were trying to keep the two vampires apart. What the hell?

  I stepped out with the gun pointed at the floor. "What's going on?" I asked.

  Some of them looked at me, but most of them looked at one of the two master vampires, waiting for them to answer me. I turned to Claudia, the only female guard we had, and the only woman I'd ever known who was over six feet tall. She came toward me, her long black hair in its tight ponytail moving as she stepped to the edge of the group.

  "We thought they were going to fight. "

  "Fight about what?" I asked, and put my gun up. I wasn't going to shoot either of them, and they would know that. Unless you're willing to use it, a gun is just a useless piece of metal. I put my useless piece in its holster.

  "I'm not entirely sure," she said.

  "One of you talk to me," I said.

  "We will not come to blows," Jean-Claude said, and he backed away from the cluster of bodyguards to sit on the big white couch on the far side of the room. He let himself fall into it in that graceful I-don't-care way, but he ended up looking like he was waiting for some passing photographer to snap a picture of him. He was always beautiful, but this level of care and control over how he looked was usually reserved for guests, and hostile guests at that.

  "What happened?" I asked.

  Asher backed up to the white loveseat with its gold and silver cushions. He put his arms on the back of the loveseat, careless, but in his own way just as posed as Jean-Claude. Asher's gold hair spilled over the scarred side of his face so that he sat there like some fallen angel, perfect and coldly beautiful.

  "What is wrong with you guys? What's happened?"

  "Nothing's happened," Asher said, "and that is precisely the problem. "

  We all stood in the white and gold room, and I had no idea what was going on. The bodyguards were huddled between the faux fireplace and the two chairs, the silver by the faux fireplace and the gold with its white cushions by us at the end of the room between the couch and loveseat. The huge glass-and-metal coffee table in the center of everything had food on it, but it was also forcing the guards to move around it, having to be careful of the food and the vampires. It seemed like you shouldn't have to tiptoe around refreshments when you're standing between two master vampires, but sometimes you end up between the cutlets and the cutlery, with nowhere safe to stand.

  I frowned from one to the other of them and finally turned to the guards. Claudia and her fellow wererat Fredo looked at me. The two newer guards were both werehyenas, one tall and blond, the other a little shorter with skin a few shades darker than Vivian's, hair tight and curly to his head. They were both looking at Asher. Wicked looked from one to the other of the vampires, but Truth looked at me. I said, "Truth, report. "

  The dark-haired vampire stepped away from the T-shirted security and faced me. "Asher is threatening to take his werehyenas and find another city. "

  I looked at Asher. "What? Why?"

  Micah moved up beside me. "Narcissus's werehyenas are the third most powerful animal group in this city. He wouldn't leave and start over. "

  "He would, for me," Asher said.

  "Have you made him your animal to call?" Micah asked.

  Asher scowled at Micah, and his ice-blue eyes flashed with a hint of glow, a hint of vampire power. "I do not have to answer your question, cat. "

  "Fine, then answer it for me," I said.

  He gave me an unfriendly look. "No, no I have not done what Narcissus so terribly wants. I have not made him my animal to call, but if I would, and if I would come to his bed as he wants, then he is willing to leave St. Louis and go where I go. "

  I didn't know what to say to that. Micah said, "Narcissus must love you a great deal to be willing to leave a safe city and fight for control somewhere else. "

  Asher laughed, and as Jean-Claude's laughter could be sensual and sexy, Asher's laugh held sorrow as if the light dimmed. My heart hurt for a moment. "I'm not certain Narcissus is capable of truly loving anyone, but he wants me. He wants me badly enough that he would destroy everything he has built if only I will be his in every way. "

  The conversation had the feel of something that had been talked about a lot, but it was totally news to me. I looked at Jean-Claude and said what I was thinking. "How long have you known about Narcissus's offer?"

  "Long enough," he said.

  "And you were going to mention this when?"

  "He couldn't tell you," Asher said, "because that would have forced him to tell you the reason I want to leave, and that is a conversation he does not want to have, is it, mon bellot? Ah, but then you are not my pretty one, are you, not anymore?"

  "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

  "It means that if I cannot be loved, then I want the respect due me as a master vampire with his own animal to call. "

  "I'm still lost here, guys, explain," I said.

  "I want a formal greeting," Asher said.

  "We are all friends here, mon ami," Jean-Claude said.

  "No, no we are not all friends here," Asher said. "I am either a master vampire or your second-in-command or I am not. If I am all those things, then it is within my rights to demand a formal greeting from everyone in the room. "

  "I don't think this is J. J. 's business," Jason said.

  We all looked at him. I wasn't sure what I would have said, but Jean-Claude said, "You are quite right. She is your guest and this does not concern her. "

  "I'll be right back after I get her settled," he said, and he led her away to the other side of the curtains and the hallway beyond. She was asking him questions as they walked, her voice low and serious. He just shook his head.

  "What do you mean, you want a formal greeting from everyone in the room? That's what we have to do for out-of-town guests or other dominants and masters. We don't do that to each other. "

  Asher looked at me and with the hair fallen over one
half of his face, and all that blue silk, he was all beautiful arrogance, but I knew that was one of the emotions he hid behind. He'd come to us with that as his shield when he was afraid something would hurt too much.

  It made me look over the guards' heads to the painting above the mantel that the whole room had been designed around. It was a picture of Jean-Claude and Asher, and their dead Julianna, back when everyone dressed like they'd stepped out of Dumas's Three Musketeers.

  The Asher in the painting was all gold and white perfection with Juliana sitting in front of him, and Jean-Claude behind them both, in his signature black and white even then. The Asher in that painting was unscarred, and the artist had captured the arrogance I was looking at now.

  "When you say everyone in the room? Do you actually mean everyone?" I asked.

  "I do," he said.

  "Jean-Claude?" I said.

  "We are an informal lot here, but he is within his rights as a master to be greeted formally at every entrance," Jean-Claude said.

  "The formal greeting is a kind of pissing contest," I said. "We don't have to do that with just each other. "

  "I thought we did not," he said, and his face was empty, telling me nothing. Shit.

  I turned back to Asher. "You're seriously going to make all of us do this. "

  "Yes," he said.

  "Why?" I asked.

  "Because I can. "

  I stared at him for a moment, and then said, "Fine, fine, how do we do this?"

  "Whoever sees me as dominant to them can greet me, and whoever feels they are dominant or equal to me, well, we shall see. "

  "See what?" I asked.

  Micah answered, "See who offers up their flesh and blood. "

  "The greeting is just a formality," I said. "The submissive offers up a blood point, the vampire or wereanimal sniffs or kisses it, and we move on. "

  "That is not always the case, ma petite," Jean-Claude said.

  "What else is there?" I asked.

  "You know that some vampires use it as a way of trying their power one against the other. "

  "Yes, I've seen that. "

  "The ritual is an offering of blood. The dominant, or master, is within his rights to take what is offered. That is how it was originally done centuries ago. The master would pick one of the offerings and feed, and by offering to be submissive to him you give him the right to choose to feed. "

  "That is not how we've done it when we've had visiting masters from out of town," I said.

  "Asher is invoking his rights, and that is within his rights. " Jean-Claude motioned and the guards moved so the two vampires could see each other. "Isn't that what you mean to do?"

  "Yes," he said, and there was nothing pleasant in his voice.

  "I feel like we've stepped into a fight that I don't know anything about. If we're offering up our flesh and blood, then I want to know why. "

  "You only offer it up if you see me as dominant to you, Anita, and you don't. "

  I frowned at him, then turned back to Jean-Claude. "Help me out here. What does that mean?"

  "He means that you only offer blood point to him if you see yourself as lesser than Asher. If you don't think he is your superior, then you don't offer blood, and you could insist he offer flesh or blood to you. "

  I shook my head and turned to Micah and Nathaniel. "Is this a surprise to both of you, too?"

  They both nodded, but Micah said, "Asher has been getting pushier. "

  "Like trying to steal a kiss at the recital," I said.

  Micah nodded.

  I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and said, "Asher, don't do this, just talk to me. "

  "Your master has forbidden me to bring up certain topics. He has left me few avenues to demonstrate my displeasure, but the ways he has left open to me I will now take. I want to know where everyone in this room stands. I want to know where I stand with everyone in this room, and I want to know now. "

  "Jean-Claude, just tell him he can talk to me about whatever it is. If we start this kind of dominance thing with our own people, it's going to go all pear-shaped. "

  "Guards, leave us. "

  "I'm not sure that's a good idea," Truth said.

  "I am sure," Claudia said, "it's a bad idea. "

  "We need to discuss some very personal issues. You are not privy to them, now go. "

  Claudia and Truth looked at me. Fredo and Wicked kept the vampires in their line of sight, which wasn't easy since they were across from each other, but the men managed.

  "Don't look at her," Asher said. "Your master has told you to leave. Didn't you hear him?"

  "He's not my master," Claudia said. "I just work here. "

  "He is ours," Wicked said.

  "No," Truth said, "he's not. "

  The brothers looked at each other and then both of them looked at me. I got a hint of maybe what Asher was meaning. "If Jean-Claude says go, go. We'll be all right. "

  "Bad idea," Claudia said.

  "Very bad idea," Fredo said.

  "I trust Jean-Claude and I trust Asher. "

  That earned me a look from Asher that wasn't arrogant or hostile. It was almost a pained look, and then he was back to being gorgeous and unreadable.

  The guards started to move toward the curtains in the direction that Jason and J. J. had gone. Asher called out, "Perses, Dares, I want you to stay. "

  The two werehyenas hesitated. It was the shorter, dark one, Perses, who said, "We're hired to guard Jean-Claude and his people. "

  "I'm not talking about who signs your paychecks," Asher said. "I'm talking about who is your master in this room. "

  "Don't do this," Micah said, and that one sentence let me know he'd seen some danger that I was still oblivious to.

  "Will you come over here and offer up your neck to me, leopard king?" Asher asked.

  Nathaniel moved in front of Micah. "I will. "

  "And you are tasty, mon minet, but I know you will not fight me. You and I have no quarrel about dominance. "

  Micah took his arm and pulled him back. "This isn't about sex; it's about power, Nathaniel. He wants me to acknowledge him as more powerful. "

  "There were other things I wanted from you, Micah, but wasn't it Machiavelli who said, 'It is better to be loved than feared, but if you cannot be loved, then fear will do. ' Well, you don't love me, so I will settle. "

  "You are not doing all this just because I don't like boys," Micah said.

  Asher laughed again, and this one hurt, as if the sound of it had bits of glass to rend the skin. It was an illusion, a vampire power, and I should have been proof against it; that I wasn't meant that Asher had grown in power since last he'd tried shit like this.

  "When I believed that I let it go, but I saw you tonight at the dance. I saw you with your kitten, and you like him well enough. "

  "Wait, are you doing all this because you think Micah is . . . doing Nathaniel, but not you? That's such a girl reason for a fight. "

  "No, it's not," Asher said. "It's a very male reason for a fight. A man's ego can only take so much rejection, Anita. "

  "Oh my God," Micah said.

  Again he was ahead of me. "What? What did you figure out that I haven't?"

  Micah looked at Jean-Claude. "You sleep in the same bed with him almost every night. We find you naked together dead to the world during the day when none of us are with you. Are you really telling me that you and he aren't - "

  "Aren't what?" I asked.

  Nathaniel answered, "Lovers. "

  "What?" I asked.

  "They aren't lovers. "

  "Who aren't lovers?"

  "Jean-Claude and Asher," Nathaniel said.

  I turned and looked at Jean-Claude. I just looked at him. "Are you telling me that even when I'm not with you, you're still not . . . "

  "No, he's not," Asher said, "and when I say not, I mean not anything. He thinks that if you came int
o the room and caught us doing it, it would distress you. " Since that could be a long list, I just stared at Asher.

  Asher laughed, and this one was almost ordinary. "Look at their faces, Jean-Claude; our nearest and dearest all thought we were together as of old. "

  I turned to Jean-Claude. "Are you saying that you've had him in our bed, in your bed, naked all this time and you still haven't . . . been, oh, hell, you aren't completely lovers?"

  "And what would you have done if you walked in on us being lovers, ma petite?"

  "I'd have been a lot less upset than if I caught you with another woman," I said.

  "But you would be upset," he said.

  "I don't know, I . . . we do Asher together. We've all been in the bed together, the five of us, in various ways. I mean . . . I honestly thought you were saving the more intimate stuff for when I wasn't there. "

  "You have taught me to fear your moral compass, ma petite. I never wish to be on the wrong side of it again. "

  "But it's Asher, it's him, you love him, you have loved him for centuries. "

  "He loves you more," Asher said. "He loves you enough to have refused me again and again, to have stopped my touch, my body, and if you attract one more mostly heterosexual man to our little group I am going to do something violent," Asher said. Then he laughed again, and it held sorrow and something bitter in it. "But wait, I've decided to do something violent tonight. " He looked at the guards who were frozen by the curtains trying to pretend they weren't listening. "Perses, Dares, come stand by me. "

  The two werehyenas looked at each other, and then the blond said, "We'd rather just leave you two to discuss things. This sounds more personal than bodyguard. "

  "I don't want you to leave. I want to make my point and the two of you will help me do that. " He held out his arm and called them to him. He called them the way Jean-Claude could call wolves and I could call so many animals. He opened up his power and it filled the room like something cool and thick. I felt it touch me as it flowed by, almost like I should have been able to wrap it in my hands. He called the werehyenas and they simply turned and went to him. They took up posts behind the loveseat, at Asher's back. They faced the room like that, and it was very clear that the two werehyenas were with Asher, and not us.

  "Don't do this," Micah said.

  "There are no leopards here to help you, little king. There are no wolves to aid Jean-Claude, and the rats belong to no one. I am the only master in this room who has help at hand. "

  "Not true," Micah said.

  "Do you mean our kitten? I don't think you want to risk him against me. "

  "I'm not talking about me at all," Micah said. He looked at me.

  I shook my head. "Don't make me do this. "

  "He's setting up the rules, not me," Micah said.

  "If you mean Anita, then save your breath, leopard. She and I established that she'd bow to me long ago. "

  I looked at the vampire. "What does that mean exactly?"

  "You let me dominate you in the bedroom along with our kitten. "

  "In the bedroom is different. "

  "You once let me feed until I almost drained you dry. You and I both know that I stopped myself from killing you; you would have let me do it, and enjoyed it right up until the moment you died. "

  He was talking about the last time we'd been alone and he'd fed from me. His vampire power was to make his bite orgasmic, and it was, and what he'd just said was absolutely right. In that one moment I wouldn't have fought to live; it had felt too good to stop. He and I had never told anyone the entire truth of it before. We'd simply avoided being alone together for feedings.

  "Don't push me, Asher. "

  "Or what? You'll kill me? I don't think so. "

  "Just as you won't kill us," Jean-Claude said, softly, "and if death is off the table, then what is left to prove?"

  "That I have grown too powerful to be your second. I need a territory of my own and lovers who aren't ashamed of me. "

  "We aren't ashamed of you. "

  "The men are, and he" - he pointed at Jean-Claude - "says he refuses my body because you would reject him if you saw us together. I told him you were with him and Augustine, Master of Chicago, and you did not turn from what happened, or from Jean-Claude. But it was when I saw your cats kissing in public that I knew that Jean-Claude had lied. You have no problem sharing yourself with men who are sharing each other; it is Jean-Claude who doesn't want to be with me again. You are his excuse to keep me from that last part of him. "

  "I don't know what you thought you saw at the recital," Micah said.

  "I saw two men who love each other and aren't afraid to show it in public. Don't deny it. "

  "I had no intention of denying how I feel about Nathaniel. " Nathaniel laid his head on Micah's shoulder, and Micah reached a hand up to touch the taller man's face. It always seemed odd that Nathaniel was taller than Micah, but dominance isn't always about height.

  "Please, can the guards go for the rest of this discussion?" I asked.

  "See, you are embarrassed by me. "

  "I'm embarrassed in general. "

  "I am not. "

  I met his too-calm, too-arrogant face, and said, "Fine, fucking fine, let's do this. " I turned to Jean-Claude. "Are you telling me that you haven't been his lover because you thought I'd leave you?"

  "You've gone away for months for much lesser offenses of your small-town morality. "

  "That was a while ago, Jean-Claude, give me some credit here. If you and Asher want to be together . . . "

  "Be lovers," Asher said.

  I gave him an unfriendly look, but turned back to Jean-Claude. "Fine, if you and Asher want to be lovers when I'm not in the bed, that's okay with me. "

  "Non, ma petite, non. "

  "It is you who is afraid of being with me," Asher said. "I cannot live like this, and eventually I will give in to Narcissus if I have no one else to turn to. "

  "If I say I'm fine with it, then why not?" I asked.

  "Asher assumes that Micah and Nathaniel are doing what I will not; are they lovers?"

  I wanted to squirm and fought not to. "Why don't you ask them - they're standing right here. "

  He looked at the men. "Are you lovers?"

  Nathaniel said yes, and Micah said no, at the same time. Asher laughed, and this laugh held humor. "How can you not know?"

  "Micah loves me. He takes care of me. We sleep nude in the bed even if Anita is out of town. I clean his house, I fix his meals. We touch each other in private. We just don't do certain things. "

  "You don't sodomize each other," Asher offered.

  "Yeah," Nathaniel said, and he almost smiled, but not like he was happy. "We don't do that. "

  "It's not to every man's taste. Even those who like men are not always sodomites," Jean-Claude said.

  "But Micah doesn't think you are lovers, do you, Micah?" Asher asked. I realized that Asher wasn't just going to try to tear down what he and Jean-Claude and I had; he was going to try to tear down everyone.

  Micah took a deep breath and let it out in a loud rush. "I guess I thought that if we weren't fucking each other, we weren't lovers. "

  "So Nathaniel is trapped as I am trapped, wanting, but never having. "

  Nathaniel said, "I think I like girls a little better than you do, so it's not as big an issue for me. "

  "If Micah would fuck you in the ass, would you say no?"

  I so wanted out of this conversation, but it was like a car accident: Once you started spinning you could only wait and see what you hit.

  "No," Nathaniel said.

  "Liar," Asher said.

  Nathaniel started to smile, fought it off, and said, "You've seen him nude. I've never had anyone that large do anal sex on me. I think it might hurt. "

  "You are a pain slut. You like hurt," Asher said.

  "In most ways, yes, but I was raped as a kid, so I like anal somet
imes and I miss it, but I don't like it to hurt. Hurting like that is a trigger event. It throws me back into being raped. " He shook his head, a little too rapidly. "I think if I'd been treated better, then I probably would like it, but I wasn't, and we do together almost everything that I want to do. "

  Asher said, "I am sorry, Nathaniel; in my own hurt feelings I forgot that other people have been hurt, too. But I will not let even your sad story stop this conversation. We will have it out, and then when I am rejected one last time I will go and stay with Narcissus until arrangements can be made for us to leave. "

  "The werehyenas are a third, or more, of the security for Jean-Claude," Micah said.

  "Not my problem," Asher said.

  "You'd really cut our manpower that badly, knowing that there are masters out there who would see that as weakness and try to kill us?" I asked.

  "I cannot stay here and have my heart broken over and over, Anita. I will go mad. Either I must be someone's lover, or I must go. "

  "Wait," I said, "you're my lover. You're my lover in every way that any other man has been. I haven't denied you any part of me. "

  He looked at me, and I gave him a look back. "Oh, come on, just because I don't like anal. No one else gets to do that, either. "

  "It's not you he wants," Micah said.

  Asher looked at him. "Are you saying it's you I'm pining over?"

  "You said that Jean-Claude loved Anita better than you; well, don't you love Jean-Claude better than you love Anita?"

  Asher looked at Micah, and finally he nodded. "Touche, Nimir-Raj. I have loved Jean-Claude for centuries, so yes. Did you know that I chose Julianna as my human servant because I feared I was losing Jean-Claude's love?"

  Jean-Claude said something rapid in French. He was sitting forward and looked startled at last.

  Asher went on. "I never told you because it was too pathetic. You know I like women, but I like men more. Didn't you ever puzzle at why I chose to tie myself to a woman as my human servant?"

  "You loved her," Jean-Claude said.

  "Eventually, but I chose her for you. I knew what you liked and I shopped with an eye for keeping you, not for satisfying myself, and it worked. It worked better than I could have dreamed. I should have realized that I had set myself up for the two people I loved most in the world to love each other more than they loved me. "

  Jean-Claude made as if to reach out to the other man, and then let his hand fall back. "We did not mean to hurt you. "

  "You never mean to hurt me, Jean-Claude, but you do seem to keep doing it. " He turned back to us. "What does Micah deny you, Nathaniel? What do you want him to do that he will not?"

  Nathaniel looked at Micah, who just nodded. No one looked at me; in that moment it was just the men. "I'd like him to go down on me and do me by hand. "

  "You are denied everything I am denied; how can you be happy?"

  "I just am," Nathaniel said.

  "He's not denied everything," Micah said.

  "I have heard the truth," Asher said.

  That first roll of power trickled off of Micah's skin. His beast peeking out with his anger. "He said he wanted me to go down on him and do him by hand. "

  "Exactement. "

  "You only hear what you want to hear tonight, Asher. Let's just say I can prove that Nathaniel really does have absolutely no gag reflex. "

  There was a moment of thunderous silence. Micah glared at Asher. Nathaniel looked pleased and tried not to. I had no safe place to look and no idea what expression to wear.

  "Was Anita with you?" Jean-Claude asked.

  "Yes," Micah said.

  "Ma petite. "

  I didn't want to look at him.

  "Ma petite, look at me. "

  I've turned and faced men with guns when it took less courage than to meet Jean-Claude's eyes in that moment. "This is a recent change?"

  I nodded.

  "What did you think? How did you feel about it?"

  I so did not want to discuss this in front of people, but damn it, if I was really all right with it, why was it embarrassing? Damn it. "Without the ardeur I have a gag reflex, and Micah . . . "

  "Is bien outille, well hung, oui," Jean-Claude said.

  "Yes, so one afternoon we took turns going down on Micah. " I said it fast as if that made it sound more ladylike, but some things just aren't ladylike and sucking a man's dick is one of them. I loved doing it, but . . . Oh, hell. I was blushing so hard I was light-headed. I thought I'd stopped blushing like that, damn it.

  Micah and Nathaniel each touched an arm, which meant I looked as shaky as I felt.

  "And have you done it since?" Jean-Claude asked.

  I swallowed and concentrated. I would not faint. I never fainted. Fuck. I kept a good hold on both their arms and said, "Not the taking turns part, but Nathaniel going down on Micah, yes. "

  "And you are all right with it?"

  "Jesus, Jean-Claude, I'm not the small-town virgin that you found years ago. Give me some credit for being a little more open-minded. The three of us have shared a bed for over two years. "

  "You are right, ma petite; I remembered you as of old and didn't trust you. "

  "So, you would be all right with Jean-Claude and me being lovers. "

  "Yes. "

  "Would you be all right in bed with us while we touched?" Jean-Claude asked.

  "Depends on the touch, but I like men. When you and I did Augustine together, I learned I liked seeing men kiss each other, and I love watching Nathaniel and Micah together. I love . . . Look, don't blame this mess on me. I didn't keep you from Asher; you decided that on your own. "

  "I thought it was you I was protecting, but Asher is right, it was me. " He looked at the other man. "You almost consumed me once before Julianna. It wasn't that you were a man that had made me withdraw, it was that your power works on vampires, too. You were very close to making me your slave, and if I wasn't willing to be Belle Morte's slave, then I wouldn't be yours. "

  "So another man brought in would have worked as well?" Asher asked.

  Jean-Claude smiled and shook his head. "No, you chose well for my heart. Julianna was everything I could have dreamed of in a woman at that time. "

  "You don't have to add the at that time for my benefit, Jean-Claude. I know you loved her; hell, I've felt the memories. "

  "The person who loved Julianna died when she died. "

  "We all died that day," Asher said.

  "Yes," Jean-Claude said.

  The silence sat for a minute full of old sorrow and older loss. Then Micah said, "But if Anita were with you, would you want to be Asher's lover?"

  Jean-Claude looked at Micah, then at me, and finally he looked directly across the room at Asher. "Yes. "

  "Just empty words," Asher said, "to save your hyenas and your power base. "

  Jean-Claude stood up and held his hand out to me. "Ma petite. " I admit I hesitated, but I went and took his hand. Then Jean-Claude turned and held out his hand to the other vampire.

  Asher said, "You mean now?"

  "You say words are empty. Let me show you actions. "

  I looked from one to the other of them, and fought a sudden panicking feeling in my stomach. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but it was all moving a little too fast for me and I had a niggling feeling that I was missing something.

  Asher stood up. The werehyenas behind him asked, "What do you want us to do?"

  "Whatever you were doing. Do your jobs. " He went to Jean-Claude's outstretched hand without a backward glance at the two shapeshifters, and that was why Asher would probably never have his own territory. It wasn't lack of power, but lack of wanting power. He would always let his heart overrule his head, and Masters of the City don't survive long making decisions like that.

  Jean-Claude led us toward the curtains. The guards standing there scattered as if we'd shouted Boo. Jason was on the other side of them. He raised eyebr
ows, and just his expression let me know he'd heard and knew what was happening. I reached out my free hand and he gave me his. The moment I touched him his power flared over me like heat in a summer meadow. It felt so good, and then I smelled trees, leaves, forest, and I knew that there were more wolves just outside the big dungeon door.

  Jean-Claude, Jason, and I all turned toward the far curtains as Jamil and Shang-Da swept through them. They were both tall and muscular, Jamil with his long cornrows and tailored suit, Shang-Da the tallest Chinese man I'd ever met, hair cut skater straight, his black trench coat flaring around him showing glimpses of the guns underneath. The moment I saw both of them I knew who was coming next, and there he was, Richard, our Ulfric, our wolf king. He was dressed in blue jeans with a leather and denim jacket open over a bloodred T-shirt. His shoulder-length hair fell in foaming waves, a brown shot full of gold and red highlights. He swept in with his guards on either side, and it was like my heart stopped for a moment. Nothing would ever make Richard less than handsome, from the short brown boots peeking out from the jeans to the poured-on jeans and everything I knew lay in them, to the upper body that he'd hit the gym hard enough to make even wider, even more impressive, and then the face. Once I'd thought I'd marry him, and even now my heart and libido leapt up, but my mind went, No, whatever he wants, no. Once it goes to hell, no one can cut you up like the love of your life. Fuck.