Bullet ab-19 Read online

  He smiled wider. “I am.”

  I could not have said that, because I was always willing to believe someone would screw up. And because I couldn’t add my certainty to his, I kissed the top of her head where she’d cuddled into the bend of my shoulder.

  Monica was suddenly in front of us. I looked up and my face was already set to warn her off, and Micah stood up I think ready for the same thing, but the look on her face wasn’t mean. I’d never seen her look kind before.

  She called to J.J. “Can you keep Matthew occupied for a few minutes?”

  J.J. glided over to us and got the little boy chasing her. I must have looked surprised, because Monica said, “I was married to a century-old vampire. I know what it’s like to want a baby and believe you’ll never have one. You know how rare it is for one of the older vampires to father a child.”

  I did know. I could only nod.

  Micah moved out of the way as Monica took his place kneeling in front of Vivian. “Let me take you to the ladies’ room so we can fix your makeup before Stephen gets back.”

  Vivian blinked at her and then nodded wordlessly. “I don’t want Stephen to know I told anyone.”

  “I won’t tell him,” she said, and she held out her hand. Vivian looked at Micah, who nodded, then at me, and I nodded, too. She went with Monica, and we trusted Monica not to fuck this up. It was a little like sending your daughter off with the mean girl from school and trusting her not to be mean, but strangely, I did.

  Micah sat down beside me, and his hand found mine. We sat there and watched J.J. dart around the lobby while Matthew chased her. He was squealing and happy about it, but something about the game reminded me of Jason and his ballerina’s last number. Was I looking for similarities, or was the little boy really imitating Uncle Jason?

  As he often did, Micah spoke as if he’d read my mind. “When I was Matthew’s age I begged for a little holster and gun set with plastic badge.”

  “Because your dad was a sheriff ?”

  He nodded. “He wasn’t sheriff when I was three, but he was in law enforcement and I wanted to be just like him.”

  “It’s not just me, then; Matthew is trying to imitate some of the dancing he saw tonight.”

  Micah watched the toddler chase the lithe, graceful dancer. “He’s started trying to figure out what it means to be a boy. He’s imitating the men he sees.”

  I told him what Matthew had said about how all the big boys kissed me. Micah hugged me, and I realized it was the same way I’d hugged Vivian. It made me sit up straighter and even pull away a little.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I’m just wondering what Matthew’s learning and how it will affect him later.”

  “But why did you pull away?”

  I took in a deep breath and said, “Because I won’t let myself huddle like Vivian.”

  He smiled and drew me in so he could kiss me on the forehead. “You will never huddle like Vivian, Anita.”

  I hugged him, pulled him close, and wasn’t so sure. I wanted to ask him, did he want children. He’d had a vasectomy years ago so that a very evil shapeshifter couldn’t use him to get the women of their animal group pregnant. The bad guy had liked them pregnant and liked the pain and sorrow of the miscarriages. He had been one of the most twisted people I’d ever met, and I never regretted killing him.

  I couldn’t have Micah’s biological child, but we’d been sharing a bed and a home with Nathaniel for two years. Did they want children? If I’d really been as brave as everyone thought I was, I would have asked, but I didn’t ask, because I didn’t want to know. I was afraid I already knew the answer.

  5

  AN HOUR LATER five of us were walking through the big dungeon door at the bottom of the long stairs leading from the upper parts of Circus of the Damned, where there was a permanent carnival midway and circus ring, plus a freak show that held mostly mythological creatures, to the quiet underground that was the lair of the Master of the City of St. Louis. The first time I’d come through that big, scary door, Jean-Claude had only been one of the master’s minions. I’d killed her to save my life and others, but I’d opened the way for Jean-Claude to be the new master. Talk about your unintended consequences.

  We closed and locked the door behind us and were in an open space bordered by huge gauzy curtains that ran from the floor to vanish into the darkness of the ceiling. When I called this the underground I wasn’t joking. It had been carved out of existing caverns under the city, and to add a homey touch the curtains were the walls of the living room.

  Jason and J.J. were hand in hand ahead of us as he parted the curtains, hitting the opening out of long habit. If it was new to you, the “door” was nearly impossible to find the first time. They went through laughing, looking at each other in a way I never thought I’d see Jason look at anyone.

  We came behind them, my hand in Nathaniel’s and my arm through Micah’s. We almost ran into Jason and J.J. just inside the curtains. Something about the way they were standing made me drop the men’s hands and go for my gun. Maybe I was overreacting, but a lot of our enemies are faster than human. You don’t get a second chance to draw your gun against that kind of speed. I used Jason and J.J. to hide my hands as I tried to see around to what had made them stop, and I could see Jason’s tension level go through the roof. I knew rationally that he’d have yelled a warning if it was a gun situation, but a gun was what I had.

  When I could see around them it didn’t make sense. Wicked and Truth were standing with our other black-shirted security guards, but they were all standing in the middle of the room with Jean-Claude and Asher on opposite sides of the group. It looked for the entire world as if the guards were trying to keep the two vampires apart. What the hell?

  I stepped out with the gun pointed at the floor. “What’s going on?” I asked.

  Some of them looked at me, but most of them looked at one of the two master vampires, waiting for them to answer me. I turned to Claudia, the only female guard we had, and the only woman I’d ever known who was over six feet tall. She came toward me, her long black hair in its tight ponytail moving as she stepped to the edge of the group.

  “We thought they were going to fight.”

  “Fight about what?” I asked, and put my gun up. I wasn’t going to shoot either of them, and they would know that. Unless you’re willing to use it, a gun is just a useless piece of metal. I put my useless piece in its holster.

  “I’m not entirely sure,” she said.

  “One of you talk to me,” I said.

  “We will not come to blows,” Jean-Claude said, and he backed away from the cluster of bodyguards to sit on the big white couch on the far side of the room. He let himself fall into it in that graceful I-don’t-care way, but he ended up looking like he was waiting for some passing photographer to snap a picture of him. He was always beautiful, but this level of care and control over how he looked was usually reserved for guests, and hostile guests at that.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  Asher backed up to the white loveseat with its gold and silver cushions. He put his arms on the back of the loveseat, careless, but in his own way just as posed as Jean-Claude. Asher’s gold hair spilled over the scarred side of his face so that he sat there like some fallen angel, perfect and coldly beautiful.

  “What is wrong with you guys? What’s happened?”

  “Nothing’s happened,” Asher said, “and that is precisely the problem.”

  We all stood in the white and gold room, and I had no idea what was going on. The bodyguards were huddled between the faux fireplace and the two chairs, the silver by the faux fireplace and the gold with its white cushions by us at the end of the room between the couch and loveseat. The huge glass-and-metal coffee table in the center of everything had food on it, but it was also forcing the guards to move around it, having to be careful of the food and the vampires. It seemed like you shouldn’t have to tiptoe around refreshments when you’re standing be
tween two master vampires, but sometimes you end up between the cutlets and the cutlery, with nowhere safe to stand.

  I frowned from one to the other of them and finally turned to the guards. Claudia and her fellow wererat Fredo looked at me. The two newer guards were both werehyenas, one tall and blond, the other a little shorter with skin a few shades darker than Vivian’s, hair tight and curly to his head. They were both looking at Asher. Wicked looked from one to the other of the vampires, but Truth looked at me. I said, “Truth, report.”

  The dark-haired vampire stepped away from the T-shirted security and faced me. “Asher is threatening to take his werehyenas and find another city.”

  I looked at Asher. “What? Why?”

  Micah moved up beside me. “Narcissus’s werehyenas are the third most powerful animal group in this city. He wouldn’t leave and start over.”

  “He would, for me,” Asher said.

  “Have you made him your animal to call?” Micah asked.

  Asher scowled at Micah, and his ice-blue eyes flashed with a hint of glow, a hint of vampire power. “I do not have to answer your question, cat.”

  “Fine, then answer it for me,” I said.

  He gave me an unfriendly look. “No, no I have not done what Narcissus so terribly wants. I have not made him my animal to call, but if I would, and if I would come to his bed as he wants, then he is willing to leave St. Louis and go where I go.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. Micah said, “Narcissus must love you a great deal to be willing to leave a safe city and fight for control somewhere else.”

  Asher laughed, and as Jean-Claude’s laughter could be sensual and sexy, Asher’s laugh held sorrow as if the light dimmed. My heart hurt for a moment. “I’m not certain Narcissus is capable of truly loving anyone, but he wants me. He wants me badly enough that he would destroy everything he has built if only I will be his in every way.”

  The conversation had the feel of something that had been talked about a lot, but it was totally news to me. I looked at Jean-Claude and said what I was thinking. “How long have you known about Narcissus’s offer?”

  “Long enough,” he said.

  “And you were going to mention this when?”

  “He couldn’t tell you,” Asher said, “because that would have forced him to tell you the reason I want to leave, and that is a conversation he does not want to have, is it, mon bellot? Ah, but then you are not my pretty one, are you, not anymore?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  “It means that if I cannot be loved, then I want the respect due me as a master vampire with his own animal to call.”

  “I’m still lost here, guys, explain,” I said.

  “I want a formal greeting,” Asher said.

  “We are all friends here, mon ami,” Jean-Claude said.

  “No, no we are not all friends here,” Asher said. “I am either a master vampire or your second-in-command or I am not. If I am all those things, then it is within my rights to demand a formal greeting from everyone in the room.”

  “I don’t think this is J.J.’s business,” Jason said.

  We all looked at him. I wasn’t sure what I would have said, but Jean-Claude said, “You are quite right. She is your guest and this does not concern her.”

  “I’ll be right back after I get her settled,” he said, and he led her away to the other side of the curtains and the hallway beyond. She was asking him questions as they walked, her voice low and serious. He just shook his head.

  “What do you mean, you want a formal greeting from everyone in the room? That’s what we have to do for out-of-town guests or other dominants and masters. We don’t do that to each other.”

  Asher looked at me and with the hair fallen over one half of his face, and all that blue silk, he was all beautiful arrogance, but I knew that was one of the emotions he hid behind. He’d come to us with that as his shield when he was afraid something would hurt too much.

  It made me look over the guards’ heads to the painting above the mantel that the whole room had been designed around. It was a picture of Jean-Claude and Asher, and their dead Julianna, back when everyone dressed like they’d stepped out of Dumas’s Three Musketeers.

  The Asher in the painting was all gold and white perfection with Juliana sitting in front of him, and Jean-Claude behind them both, in his signature black and white even then. The Asher in that painting was unscarred, and the artist had captured the arrogance I was looking at now.

  “When you say everyone in the room? Do you actually mean everyone?” I asked.

  “I do,” he said.

  “Jean-Claude?” I said.

  “We are an informal lot here, but he is within his rights as a master to be greeted formally at every entrance,” Jean-Claude said.

  “The formal greeting is a kind of pissing contest,” I said. “We don’t have to do that with just each other.”

  “I thought we did not,” he said, and his face was empty, telling me nothing. Shit.

  I turned back to Asher. “You’re seriously going to make all of us do this.”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because I can.”

  I stared at him for a moment, and then said, “Fine, fine, how do we do this?”

  “Whoever sees me as dominant to them can greet me, and whoever feels they are dominant or equal to me, well, we shall see.”

  “See what?” I asked.

  Micah answered, “See who offers up their flesh and blood.”

  “The greeting is just a formality,” I said. “The submissive offers up a blood point, the vampire or wereanimal sniffs or kisses it, and we move on.”

  “That is not always the case, ma petite,” Jean-Claude said.

  “What else is there?” I asked.

  “You know that some vampires use it as a way of trying their power one against the other.”

  “Yes, I’ve seen that.”

  “The ritual is an offering of blood. The dominant, or master, is within his rights to take what is offered. That is how it was originally done centuries ago. The master would pick one of the offerings and feed, and by offering to be submissive to him you give him the right to choose to feed.”

  “That is not how we’ve done it when we’ve had visiting masters from out of town,” I said.

  “Asher is invoking his rights, and that is within his rights.” Jean-Claude motioned and the guards moved so the two vampires could see each other. “Isn’t that what you mean to do?”

  “Yes,” he said, and there was nothing pleasant in his voice.

  “I feel like we’ve stepped into a fight that I don’t know anything about. If we’re offering up our flesh and blood, then I want to know why.”

  “You only offer it up if you see me as dominant to you, Anita, and you don’t.”

  I frowned at him, then turned back to Jean-Claude. “Help me out here. What does that mean?”

  “He means that you only offer blood point to him if you see yourself as lesser than Asher. If you don’t think he is your superior, then you don’t offer blood, and you could insist he offer flesh or blood to you.”

  I shook my head and turned to Micah and Nathaniel. “Is this a surprise to both of you, too?”

  They both nodded, but Micah said, “Asher has been getting pushier.”

  “Like trying to steal a kiss at the recital,” I said.

  Micah nodded.

  I took a deep breath, let it out slow, and said, “Asher, don’t do this, just talk to me.”

  “Your master has forbidden me to bring up certain topics. He has left me few avenues to demonstrate my displeasure, but the ways he has left open to me I will now take. I want to know where everyone in this room stands. I want to know where I stand with everyone in this room, and I want to know now.”

  “Jean-Claude, just tell him he can talk to me about whatever it is. If we start this kind of dominance thing with our own people, it’s going to go all
pear-shaped.”

  “Guards, leave us.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Truth said.

  “I am sure,” Claudia said, “it’s a bad idea.”

  “We need to discuss some very personal issues. You are not privy to them, now go.”

  Claudia and Truth looked at me. Fredo and Wicked kept the vampires in their line of sight, which wasn’t easy since they were across from each other, but the men managed.

  “Don’t look at her,” Asher said. “Your master has told you to leave. Didn’t you hear him?”

  “He’s not my master,” Claudia said. “I just work here.”

  “He is ours,” Wicked said.

  “No,” Truth said, “he’s not.”

  The brothers looked at each other and then both of them looked at me. I got a hint of maybe what Asher was meaning. “If Jean-Claude says go, go. We’ll be all right.”

  “Bad idea,” Claudia said.

  “Very bad idea,” Fredo said.

  “I trust Jean-Claude and I trust Asher.”

  That earned me a look from Asher that wasn’t arrogant or hostile. It was almost a pained look, and then he was back to being gorgeous and unreadable.

  The guards started to move toward the curtains in the direction that Jason and J.J. had gone. Asher called out, “Perses, Dares, I want you to stay.”

  The two werehyenas hesitated. It was the shorter, dark one, Perses, who said, “We’re hired to guard Jean-Claude and his people.”

  “I’m not talking about who signs your paychecks,” Asher said. “I’m talking about who is your master in this room.”

  “Don’t do this,” Micah said, and that one sentence let me know he’d seen some danger that I was still oblivious to.

  “Will you come over here and offer up your neck to me, leopard king?” Asher asked.

  Nathaniel moved in front of Micah. “I will.”

  “And you are tasty, mon minet, but I know you will not fight me. You and I have no quarrel about dominance.”

  Micah took his arm and pulled him back. “This isn’t about sex; it’s about power, Nathaniel. He wants me to acknowledge him as more powerful.”